What Your Mother Never Told You: a Survival Guide for Teenage Girls - Richard M. Dudum

by Tristi Pinkston | More from this Blogger

03 Apr 2008 12:05 AM

Our teenagers today are facing more pressure, more trials than ever before, and author Richard M. Dudum wants to give our daughters a clear, unmistakable message: you don't have to conform to anyone else's idea of what you should be. You can decide for yourself if you're going to get involved in drugs, if you're going to have sex, if you're going to play into the social games. He does this in his new book, "What Your Mother Never Told You," and he does it in down-to-earth language that can't be misinterpreted.

Several different topics are covered in this book, including chapters on "How Will You Be Remembered after High School?" where he talks about the reputations we build for ourselves, "Trust, Honesty, and Lies," where we are reminded of the importance of integrity, and "Figure Out Who You Are . . . Not," which points out that we can choose what we won't allow ourselves to be sucked into. Other chapters are "Confidence and Self-Esteem," "Allow Yourself to Be a Teenager," and "Body Language."

Dudum addresses such issues as dealing with graduation and the boyfriend who's going off to college, how to adjust to changes in your life, and how we shouldn't trust someone's title. He hits on several issues common to teenage girls today, and then he moves into the tougher topics - sex, drugs, and alcohol.

Again, he very pointedly tells us that we absolutely do not have to lower ourselves to standards that don't feel right to us. We do not have to engage in sex in order to fit in, be special, or get love. Drugs and alcohol will only ruin our capacities, not make us more popular. During these segments of the book, the author's language does get earthy. But he doesn't want any doubt left in the reader's mind. He wants them to know exactly what he's talking about.

I did feel that in this portion of the book, the author presented boys as being ravening wolves with no respect for girls at all. I don't think this was the author's intent--I think he was trying to explain that there are boys out there with just one thing on their minds. In truth, there are scads of really nice boys who don't employ the manipulation Dudum talks about in the book. Not every boy would just as soon club you over the head and drag you off into the trees. This segment of the book might have been handled with a little more give and take.

Overall, however, I think this book has merit. The world is a much more frightening place than it was when I was young. My daughter is going to have to face things I never did. Teenagers today need this kind of straight talk. I encourage you to get this book, read it first, and then give it to your daughter. Use it as a jumping-off place to have your own conversations, leavening the lump as you go. It could be a valuable tool for you in your parenting journey.

Stay tuned . . . the author will be joining us tomorrow for an interview.

(This book was published in 2007 by BookSurge.)

Related Blogs:

A Dance for Three

New Report Shows Fewer Teens Having Sex

Teen Abortion: Do Parents Have the Right to Know?

Learn more about Tristi Pinkston

I've been a blogger for Families.com since August of 2006.

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TheWeedPatch (113) 03 Apr 2008 01:46 AM

Awesome review. Not just raving, but also honest about boys. I agree that there are plenty of nice ones, but girls do need to be prepared for the "average" younger guy...with raging, untamed hormones. Wish it I read it when I was a girl.

Tristi Pinkston (10839) 03 Apr 2008 12:18 PM

It is good to be alert, that's for sure. But I think we also need to give boys some credit where it's due, as well.